Hitting PauseAgain
by Kaiva Lukain
Summary: Rachel/Ivy Rachel is, as usual, being confused, and testing Ivy's control.


Title: Hitting Pause...Again

Author's note: I think this mini series is going to be part of a longer series, so far I have two more mini series planned, but, I suppose i ought to warn you how horrible I am with this thing called 'following through'

As far as this part of the story, there are a few things I'm dissatisfied with. For one, I don't remember how the outside of the church is described. I forgot the layout, and in the first paragraph that was kinda irritating, but, overall, not too big of a deal. Second, I really don't think I am anywhere close to Kim Harrison's writing style. I just don't think it is in my bag of tricks, so just tell me how my take works out. I guess the last thing I can complain about is the fact that it isn't really long. I generally can turn out much longer pieces faster, but this one took a lot of rehashing.

Disclaimer: I don't own these characters, if I did, I'd be less of a tease. Because, let's face it, making you wait four or five parts for Rachel and Ivy to get together is a lot better than twelve to thirteen books. Suck on that for a minute.

Rating: pg-13 for adult concepts

I knew I was in for earful the minute I walked in, but for some odd reason I couldn't focus on that. I think my body was too busy throbbing and groaning for such a trivial things to take precedent in my mind. But in true 'me' fashion, I was wrong, and as I approached the door my mind ran from complaining about my state, to how I was going to be in a worse state when they were through with me.

Surely they would take pity on me, wouldn't they? That would certainly be the gentlemanly thing to do. That thought provoked a smile on my face; Jenks' Peter Pan pose wasn't exactly what I would call 'gentlemanly'. And of course, from Jenks, my mind inevitably wandered to Ivy. There were a lot of words that my mind conjured up in response to Ivy, but not a single on of them was 'gentlemanly'. Not because she was any less than Jenks, but that she was just too _beautiful_ to be called that. How could you call a woman who was all legs and curves and steel 'gentlemanly'? It just didn't compute. Not that I ought to be thinking things like that. Ivy's looks (however delicious they may be) was not what I was supposed to be thinking about!

I wasn't able to continue berating myself however, because I was too busy jumping out of my skin. And considering how sore I was, I pretty much considered that act the eighth wonder of the world. It seemed I had paused on my way to the door, lost in (naughty) thoughts, and worried my too-beautiful-to-be-a-gentleman Ivy.

"I smelled you here five minutes ago, what are you doing standing out here like a zombie?"

For some reason the statement just rubbed me the wrong way and I felt my temper rise like Rex's fur when I so much as approached him. It wasn't like she was wrong. I probably had been standing around having (wonderful) dumb thoughts of my roommate, but it didn't make me tolerate her statement any better.

"Not everyone can go around startling people with vamp speed you know," I fired back trying to protect what was left of my dignity. The Were's from my run had torn most of it to shreds, and I was just a little protective of what was left. So it left me a little snapish... Of course the minute I saw Ivy's (beautiful) exotic brows snap together in hurt I was left feeling worse than if she had joined the Were's in kicking me. I had meant to say something to apologize, but Ivy cut me off. She always ended up cutting me off, but then again, I guess I couldn't blame her. She probably just thought I would continue insulting her.

"You're hurt..."

Her voice was filled with such _something_ as they trailed off that it left me feeling even more of an ass than I thought possible. Again, I tried to speak, but I was suddenly very disoriented, like I was struck with vertigo. The first thing I noticed was the sky in my direct line of vision. The second thing I noticed was Ivy's scent wrapping around me like a cloud, and finally, I noticed the same person's arms securely holding me and walking me inside. It seemed despite my (asshole) snappish behavior she was still helping me. I don't know why I was surprised really. That was Ivy. But it also left me feeling like demon smut was in more than just my aura. My whole body maybe? At the very least it tasted like it was in my mouth.

"What in Tink's name have you gotten yourself into you lunker!"

I winced into Ivy's arms, trying to hide my face from Jenks' voice as Ivy carried me inside the church. It wasn't nearly as bad as it could be, I had definitely heard more creative and foul language come from the pixie, but in my imbalance, emotionally and physically, it was a little much to handle.

"Jenks, not now." I burrowed a bit more into Ivy's hold as she scolded our friend lightly, but pulled back as I felt her tense. Dammit! Couldn't I do one thing that didn't hurt her? Frustration welled up in me and for a second, the hysteria I felt as I finally collared the Were came back. Couldn't I just have a simple something? A simple run? (A simple relationship?) But before my emotional distress could build upon itself Ivy's arms tightened around me, and just like that, simply, it all melted away leaving drained.

Drained. I couldn't help it. I automatically tensed as the word crossed my mind, and I knew Ivy felt it because of the small sigh that escaped her (beautiful) pursed lips.

"Let me put you in your room," she sighed out, tension clear in her voice. If I had the energy I would start back up yelling at myself, but I didn't. So I did the next logical thing. I ogled Ivy. I couldn't help that either! It was hard to ignore someone who was holding you, who was helping you, despite you being an ass. It was just hard to ignore Ivy. Especially as she always tended to be wearing such (sexy) well fitting clothes. It was well past noon, so Ivy was dressed for the day in her black leathers - that looked so much better on her than me in my opinion – and a simple modestly cut v-neck shirt. It should have been illegal the way she made such things look so (hot) good. Her short gold tipped bangs were falling into her eyes and I felt the urge to fix it for her. After all, her hands were busy holding me, so it was only fair, right?

"Rachel? Are you alright?"

A hand ran through the aforementioned bangs and for a second I was confused if I had actually done what I was thinking of. The idea that I had, made a shiver run through me in the most delicious ways, but then reality hit and I realized it was Ivy's hand. Ivy's hand. That meant that.

Oh.

Blinking I realized that I was laying on my bed, and in my...ogling...Ivy had set me down on my bed. The reality check made my cheeks flush, and though I desperately tried to will it away, for Ivy's sake, it was determined to show, and tempt Ivy's control. But as my eyes snapped to Ivy's, I was shocked to see that they were still brown. They had that certain darkness to them I couldn't understand from earlier, but they were still brown. I was shocked, and I may or may not have dropped my mouth open, I didn't really remember, or notice.

"I uh, I'm not really feeling so good," I blurted out, not sure how to cover my tracks in a way Ivy wouldn't be able to smell out me lying. But then again, I wasn't sure what I was exactly covering up. I just felt like I was being caught with my hand in the cookie jar and was responding to that sensation.

"Okay, do you want me to run a bath?" Ivy asked slowly, blinking at my rushed response. I felt more blushing coming on and mentally cursed at myself, trying to keep myself under control. But it is so hard to keep under control when you don't know what is wrong or what is setting you off! Goddammit! I had to try and be normal!

"A bath would be nice," I finally replied, thankfully sounding more normal to my ears. The solution was simple, focus on how terrible I felt. The shift in my focus was anything but a happy change. It made my eyes water as I remembered how much I ached all over, and it made things throb and pulse with sheer wrongness. Especially my feet. Ivy wore heels on runs, I thought sullenly, so why couldn't I?

With another blink from eyes I couldn't understand Ivy was gone to my bathroom and I heard the water running. And with the time alone I was able to categorize the damage done to myself for the first time.

It was definitely not pretty. Popping off my incredibly inept footwear I groaned prompting a question from Ivy. After reassuring her weakly I was fine I went back to looking down at my clothes. They weren't wrecked, but if they had been anything but leather, they would have been. As it was, there were several tears that went through the first few layers of the leather, and a few more nastier cuts that did go through the leather and into my skin. There were also a few cuts on my arms that were probably the worst since they were unprotected by the leather. To sum it up lightly I looked like crap, and I felt like crap. And I felt like even bigger crap for being so terrible to Ivy while she did nothing but help.

I heard the water shut off and I looked up to see Ivy slowly walking back to me. I knew she could walk faster, but I also knew she was doing it for my benefit. I often had yelled at her for startling me by using her vamp speed, and she had taken to moving very carefully around me. Walking on eggshells. Crap. Crap, crap, crap. Could I really feel any worse?

"Ivy?" Yes actually, I could feel worse. My voice had come out as a pathetic little whine, and I also had no idea why I called her name.

"Yeah?" Her voice was soft, like when she realized I was hurt, and she looked adorably confused. I must have been setting all of her instinct on their ear. On one hand I was doing a lot of things to tempt her bloodlust, but on the other, I was presenting myself as quite hurt, and being hurt triggered a different kind of instinct in vampires. Her confusion just made mine worse. If she didn't know what was going on, how was I supposed to? I must have had a similarly confused look because she just nodded at my silence before moving to the door of my room.

"The baths ready for you," she said, stating what we both obviously knew, but it granted our moment some kind of closure. Like we both were lost, but she was sending me down the right path while standing still. As she left and closed the door I sat up, my body protesting, but as I got up fully, my mind was not on the bath.

"I wonder what your hair feels like." I finally blurted, expelling the thought that was creeping around and around in my head. There was yet another change in the air and I knew that Ivy had heard me, I didn't say it softly, but her vampire senses were definitely keen enough to pick it up even if I had whispered.

With that said, I walked slowly to the bathroom, shedding my clothes as I went, and sank gratefully into the bath. Utterly confused in typical Rachel Morgan style.


End file.
